Hoo Boy! It’s the got dang 4th of July! America! Freedom! I am just so excited!
What better way to celebrate our nation’s independence than with a brand-spankin’ new video from Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters? What better way to celebrate Freedom?
Ladies and gentlemen – Sex Slave:
The record company has been wanting us to do a video for our newest hit “Hope This Don’t Last (All Spring)” so we contacted some fellow the name of Bill Gates and he helped us to shoot the video while each one of us was in our own mansions. We sure do hope y’all like it!
Relax and enjoy:
Hoo boy! Time has a way of slippin’ by on you, don’t it? Hence this song, “My Best Days are Gone,” earns its emotional heft:
Dear Jimmie Ray Swagger Fans:
Current events sure are making us all say “Hoo Boy!” For many of y’all, the uncertainty caused by the novel coronavirus has completely changed the structure of days, of minds – the way we work, the way we communicate with friends and family, the way we get it on.
For us it means the dang tour is on hold and we ain’t getting paid! Force majeure is some bullshit!
Nevertheless, as your Country Music provider, we are here to help you meet this challenge. Our focus today is the same as it’s always been — ensuring you have the most kickass Country Music experience possible, whenever and wherever you need it.
And that’s a promise, or my name ain’t Arty “Tex” Donkerman!
Hoo Boy! Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters done tore up at the Yonder! You shoulda been there!
But if you couldn’t, here’s the next best thing:
Gorgeous! Dazzling! Magnificent!
And just plain good-lookin’ too!
Hoo Boy!
Check it out! We went and got ourselves a whole mess of lighters with bottle openers built right into ’em!
We know you want one. And you are in luck, because they will be available at the next performance by Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters on Friday, March 13th at Yonder in Hillsboro, NC!
There ain’t nothing better than a live performance by Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters, but if you couldn’t be there you can at least see part of what you missed:
Hoo Boy! We went and got us on the Instagrams!
As you are probably aware, Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters are down with the kids.
Hoo boy! Everybody is all excited for Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters to perform at Yonder in Hillsborough, NC on March 13th, 2020!
Sweetening the deal even further, there are rumors that Jimmie is feelin’ pressure to run for President again. Could he announce at Yonder in Hillsborough, NC on March 13th, 2020? Only one way to find out! Be there!
In case you weren’t there back in 2016, here’s Jimmie winning the first time:
Hoo Boy! You know how they always say Friday the 13th is lucky? Well, in March of 2020, Friday the 13th is super mega crazy lucky! And that’s because Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters are gonna be performing at Yonder in Hillsborough, NC!
The fans have spoken!
Hoo Boy!
This is the show to be at ladies and gentlemen! There’s gonna be nine, count ’em, nine Fussy Eaters at the Show of the Year on Saturday, January 25th when Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters join Nannerhead at the Cave!
Jimmie Ray Swagger says, “Be there!“
Now I know you that you know there’s nothing better than a Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters show. But do you know what the next best thing is? Well, it’s watching video of a Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters show! And to that end, we got us a channel on the YouTubes! Enjoy!
Hoo Boy! Might as well call it now – the bestest show of the whole dang year of our Lord 2020 is gonna be on Saturday, January 25th when Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters join Nannerhead at the Cave.
Be there!
Hey, don’t go spreadin’ this around, but Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters are gonna be playing a secret show at North 87 South on Saturday, December 21st with the Usta B’s.
You didn’t hear it from me!
Hoo Boy!
Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters done kicked some ass down at the Nash Street Tavern! Either you were there or you missed out!
Keep your eyes peeled and your head on a swivel, ’cause they’re gonna come again real soon!
