Jimmie Ray Swagger. Country music superstar. Presidential candidate. Legend.
And now, fashion icon.
Author: jimmieray
Jimmie Ray Swagger to Announce Green New Deal!
This coming Saturday, April 20th, live at the Cavern Tavern, President Swagger is set to announce his Green New Deal! Details are scarce so far, but rumor has it that agriculture and mental health issues will feature prominently.
Come one, come all to the Cavern Tavern on Saturday, April 20th and experience it in person!
This Here is More Poetry
Why I Love America
America is an amazing place
One where girls will sit on your face
America I do love you
I also really love to screw
And drink and smoke and take drugs too
That’s why I Love America
–Plum Peel
This Here is Poetry
My ma’s a Christian
My friend’s a wiccan
Knock before you enter
I may be choking my chicken
–Hoyt Atkins
Under New Management
Alright, now everybody listen up! There’s a new sheriff in town and that is me, Arty “Tex” Donkerman! I had to pull a few strings to get Jimmie and the boys out of the hoosegow and it better not be for nuthin’! In a turn of events that can only be described as ironic, Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters will be playing The Cave on April 20th as part of the court settlement I negotiated. Come on out and I promise you an evening to remember!
Trouble
Hoo Boy! You all are probably wondering why you ain’t heard from Jimmie Ray and the Boys in while. Truth is we were headed down to Mussel Sholes to do some recording and we had a little run in with the law for reasons we’d rather not disclose.
Not to worry, we’ll be out in just a wee bit.
Jimmie Ray Swagger at the Caverntavern for Halloween!
BOO!
Did I scare you? Sorry, but I am just too excited about the fact that Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters are gonna be playing the Caverntavern in Chapel Hill on Halloween this year! Crystal Bright and the Silver Hands, Katharine Whalen’s Swedish Patrol, Robert Griffin, and Codeine Haze will be there! You should be too – unless you’re scared!
Carrborro Has Been Swaggerized!
Hoo Boy! We sure did have us a time Swaggerizin’ the Carrborro Music Festival. Either you were there or you shoulda been!
The eagle-eyed among y’all may have noticed a new addition to the Swagger family – we now have a mandolin player: Cody Caliente! Congratulate him next time you see him!
Carrborro Music Festival Tickets
Workin’ Overtime at the Pourhouse
Jimmie Ray Swagger to Headline Guitartown Showcase
You may or may not read the news, 
but Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters done been selected to headline the Guitartown Showcase at The Pour House in Raleigh, NC on Sunday, August 26th.
Jimmie says:
The Fans Love Us!
We can’t help but notice that the fans just can not get enough Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters in their lives. Some even go so far as to post unauthorized live videos taken on videocameras hidden up inside their phones! Such as this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of4dTV43CxU
Suppose that’s just life as a living legend.
We Done Tapped that City!
Hoooo Boy! We just got done giving the fine folks at Pittsboro’s City Tap the time of their lives – you were there or you shoulda been!
Our Business Card
It also doubles as a bumper sticker and/or a hood ornament.
The Baddest Band in the Land
Damn we look good!
Remember: Kinko de Mayo is almost here!
Kinko De Mayo is almost here!
Hoooo Boy! It’s only a couple of days before Kinko de Mayo, the traditional yearly celebration of fetishes and mayonnaise, and I am excited!
This year Kinko de Mayo falls on the fifth of May. We’re gonna be celebrating at the 2nd Wind in Carrboro, North Carolina. Be there!
Fetch me my ball gag!
It’s Jimmie’s world, we just live in it.
Guitars, beers, and a woman. This here is Jimmie’s world, we just live in it.
Jailmate Fan Video
The fans, they just love them some Jimmie Ray Swagger! The ironic thing is that we’re playing “Jailmate” even though none of us Swagger boys were behind bars at the time – ain’t that somethin’!
Kinko De Mayo is almost here!
Hoooo Boy! It’s almost time for Kinko de Mayo, that traditional yearly celebration of fetishes and mayonnaise. If I had my druthers it’d be fetishes and Bar-B-Q, but tradition is tradition.
This year Kinko de Mayo falls on the fifth of May. We’re gonna be celebrating at the 2nd Wind in Carrboro, North Carolina. Figure on us gettin’ goin’ about 10:00pm.
Fetch me my ball gag!
Three Chords and the Truth
As you know, the best songs are the ones that express something we all know that we feel deep down inside. This one is called, “I Sure Hope I Don’t Shit My Pants.”