Hoo Boy!
People are getting so excited about Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters playing at the Station in Carrboro on Tuesday, May 28th that they’re getting their SwagWear ready in advance:
Be there or you’ll regret it!
When you get as famous as Jimmie Ray Swagger, everybody wants a piece of you. Somebody has gone and started writing an unauthorized biography of Mr. Swagger, and we have gotten our hands on the introduction. It’s pretty much all wrong, but can’t say it ain’t entertaining!
Hoo Boy!
People are so excited that Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters are playing at The Station on May 28th that they’re putting up lawn signs! Can’t blame ’em.
Jimmie Ray Swagger. Country music superstar. Presidential candidate. Legend.
And now, fashion icon.
This coming Saturday, April 20th, live at the Cavern Tavern, President Swagger is set to announce his Green New Deal! Details are scarce so far, but rumor has it that agriculture and mental health issues will feature prominently.
Come one, come all to the Cavern Tavern on Saturday, April 20th and experience it in person!
My ma’s a Christian
My friend’s a wiccan
Knock before you enter
I may be choking my chicken
–Hoyt Atkins
Alright, now everybody listen up! There’s a new sheriff in town and that is me, Arty “Tex” Donkerman! I had to pull a few strings to get Jimmie and the boys out of the hoosegow and it better not be for nuthin’! In a turn of events that can only be described as ironic, Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters will be playing The Cave on April 20th as part of the court settlement I negotiated. Come on out and I promise you an evening to remember!
Hoo Boy! You all are probably wondering why you ain’t heard from Jimmie Ray and the Boys in while. Truth is we were headed down to Mussel Sholes to do some recording and we had a little run in with the law for reasons we’d rather not disclose.
Not to worry, we’ll be out in just a wee bit.
BOO!
Did I scare you? Sorry, but I am just too excited about the fact that Jimmie Ray Swagger & the Fussy Eaters are gonna be playing the Caverntavern in Chapel Hill on Halloween this year! Crystal Bright and the Silver Hands, Katharine Whalen’s Swedish Patrol, Robert Griffin, and Codeine Haze will be there! You should be too – unless you’re scared!
Hoo Boy! We sure did have us a time Swaggerizin’ the Carrborro Music Festival. Either you were there or you shoulda been!
The eagle-eyed among y’all may have noticed a new addition to the Swagger family – we now have a mandolin player: Cody Caliente! Congratulate him next time you see him!
You may or may not read the news, 
but Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters done been selected to headline the Guitartown Showcase at The Pour House in Raleigh, NC on Sunday, August 26th.
Jimmie says:
We can’t help but notice that the fans just can not get enough Jimmie Ray Swagger and the Fussy Eaters in their lives. Some even go so far as to post unauthorized live videos taken on videocameras hidden up inside their phones! Such as this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of4dTV43CxU
Suppose that’s just life as a living legend.
Hoooo Boy! We just got done giving the fine folks at Pittsboro’s City Tap the time of their lives – you were there or you shoulda been!
It also doubles as a bumper sticker and/or a hood ornament.
Damn we look good!
Hoooo Boy! It’s only a couple of days before Kinko de Mayo, the traditional yearly celebration of fetishes and mayonnaise, and I am excited!
This year Kinko de Mayo falls on the fifth of May. We’re gonna be celebrating at the 2nd Wind in Carrboro, North Carolina. Be there!
Fetch me my ball gag!
